Sunday, October 18, 2009

Looking forward to the day that I can just sit……

It is remarkable how something like sitting in a chair can cause your bubble to burst. Let me explain – I have been feeling really great, doing really well with controlling my food, keeping the thoughts under control, my energy levels are up and I have been steadily loosing weight over the past 6 weeks – so all in all things are good.

Today we decided to go to the public swimming pools (with my friend and her 2 kids) – I put board shorts on which only just fit!!! Lucky I had lost the 5.8kg otherwise they would not have … and my bather top on - really not attractive at this weight (I remember looking at the fat lady when I was a kid – now I am that fat lady – anyway I can deal with the looks!!) I am feeling great so who cares….We spent and hour walking in water whilst the kids played then we went to have lunch at the café….

We grabbed a table and chairs and sat down – then the realisation that I am still hideously over weight kicked in - I did not fit in the chair!!!!!!!! I got up and got another chair that was a bit wider but I was still struggling – there were no chairs without arms so I just had to sit on the end of the chair. It was terribly uncomfortable the whole time, yet you just sit there as if it is not uncomfortable and not cutting into my legs - if you sit back in the chair then you can’t reach table as you are laying back more than sitting back, you can’t site upright like a normal person as you simply just do not fit!!!

I know that I have only lost 5.8kg and have a very long way to go so it should not have came as any surprise - but I was really feeling like I was finally getting somewhere. My feeling of feeling really great and in control and almost indestructible slowly started to slip away; as the day has warn on I was feeling flatter and flatter. Now this is the not the first time this has happened but today it has really gotten to me….and all I want to do now is eat eat eat…. which is exactly what I am NOT going to do – I have done a workout this evening so I am feeling much better already.

I am so looking forward to the day that I can just sit……

1 comment:

  1. I remember before I started and in the beginning...we would have to sit in chairs with arms on them during our weekly team meetings (minimum 45 minutes) and i would sit exactly as you have said...killed my legs (altho was prolly some exercise without realising it) i love now how i can sit in those types of chairs with a degree of being comfortableness...and like with you this will improve as we keep going on this journey =]

    kazz =]