Friday, December 4, 2009

Hit a Wall....

Well I have a hit a wall!! I am seriously struggling to get past the gain this week – I am feeling extremely deflated and unmotivated – almost to the point that actually can’t be bothered. It takes such a huge amount of energy to keep up the momentum to keep the focus on the food and the exercise that it really does not take much for me to fall on my ass (lucky it has plenty of padding…as I fall on it so often!). The internal struggle is starting to resurface along with all the negative thoughts that go with it. I though I managed to move past the part of me that has continually sabotaged myself for many years but clearly not…

At this stage I have not been on any great binge – I have probably eaten too much bread in the past two days but I have managed to stay well clear of everything else – today at work we had a secret Santa morning tea with plenty of savoury pastries, cream cakes, biscuits, fruit etc.. – I stuck with the fruit only…(then all the leftovers sat in the kitchen all day!!)

Which now that I am thinking about it, this is not what the old Jody would have done – she would have defiantly had at least one piece of cake and some pastries and probably picked at more all day (eating whilst no one was watching!!) Interesting that I did not do this – I remember looking at the cakes at one stage and thinking about what Rhonda (WW leader) often says “I can have it if I like but I choose not to” (or something like that) mmmm so maybe I have progressed a lot more than I am giving myself credit for.

I think will pick myself up dust myself off and get on with job – I owe it to myself and my kids….Gee I feel so much better already just talking about – thanks for listening.

1 comment:

  1. Don't go back!! You can get past this gain and keep going. You've been doing sooo well. If you give up, that 11kgs you've lost will come back..and then you'd have to start over again. I'm going for a walk later. You go too! And then have a big glass of water. I promise it'll be worth it!