WI Week 47

I had another gain this week of 500g bringing my total back to 31.6kg! July has pretty much been a write off for me - so I am not going to dwell on this latest gain or rant and rave or sulk about it – no point really what done is done! I have moved forward into a new day\week.

Last Saturday night I went to a 40th birthday of a very old and dear friend of mine – this were a few people there that I had not seen for probably 12 months – they were very complimentary on my weight loss success and told me repeatedly how great I was looking (I was starting to think – gee I must have really look bad before….). What really surprised me was there was a group girls that I have met a couple of times at different gathering with the kids (these are mothers from the local school) and one of them came up to me and said that she was watching me dance (yes I was even game enough to go out in public sober and dance!!!) and could not believe how much weight I had lost and how fantastic and happy I was looking (again I was thinking gee was I really that bad)….I was really very taken back and felt quite overwhelmed. 12 months ago when I was at my biggest I really though that people did not see me all – all they sore was this massive body - but you know I think I was wrong – I think it was more me that only seen the massive body and totally withdrawn myself from other people - I clearly have missed opportunities to meet some really great people!!

I really struggle with the attention that comes from losing weight but I am learning to deal with it everyday and to step a bit further outside myself as I move through this journey and beyond.