Friday, May 14, 2010

Week 36 WI - Expectations

I am etching a bit close to my next goal of 30kg with a loss of 600g this week bringing my total to 29.4kg. I am confident that next week I can crack the 30!

To be honest I am getting quite nervous about my next goal – not sure if nervous is the right word – I will try and describe how I am feeling.

I have been on and off the weight loss journey pretty much my whole life (I joined my first WW meeting at 8 years old!) – I have been very successfully in the past (albeit many years ago now) and I have failed miserably especially over the past 10 years! I would lose a bit and then put a lot back on - whenever I would re-start the weight loss journey again it was only a matter of a couple of week (or at the most a month) before I would come crashing down – peoples expectation (and mine for that matter) was quite low - it was just a matter of time before I would be back to my old habits and complaining like crazy…..which I successfully did every time.

This time however I am doing it and very successfully - My nervousness is about my expectation of myself and what I “think” other people’s expectation of myself are! My weight loss is quite obvious now and a lot of people are commenting. Everyone is being very supportive as it is clear that I am serious there is no question about that. The problem is I feel like the expectation is increasing each week – people are asking on a regular basis how I am going? How much I have lost now? Am I still keeping up with my exercise routine? And they are telling me all the time how great and happy I am looking these days. Don’t get me wrong I really really appreciate all the encouragement and don’t want it to stop (and here it comes….) BUT in the back of my head I am starting to think – ohhh gee what if I can’t live up to their (or more to the point my) expectation? What if I start to fail? What if I can’t do this? What if this is all a fast and tomorrow it will all come crashing down like it has in the past? What if I start eating again and can’t stoppppp? What if? …What if?…. What if? ….… Seriously…..STOP…..These though keep going around in my head to the point that I know I have started to pull back – I have not been exercising as much as I was – My tracking has been a bit hit and miss? Food is quite boring and I almost have the attitude of “I can’t be bothered” …..really…. come on – this is really the old mind set – the self sabotage part of me….

I know this is all about ME and my extremely high expectation I have of myself and my massive fear of failure and this has absolutely nothing to do with anyone else – I HAVE NO INTENTION OF GIVING UP…I just need to move through these emotions – recognise them as part of the journey and move past them “Feel the fear and do it anyway!” and know that I will only fail if I allow myself to….which is not an options. I am feeling great … it has taken a lot of work to come this far and there is a lot more work to go to reach my goal but I know it is soooo worth it…..



  1. Hello Jobe!

    I just LOVE the lay-out of your blog! I want you to believe you CAN DO THIS! You can get to goal AND STAY THERE if you really and truly want it enough!

    You have 2 good reasons to do this for yourself - you 2 children!! To be a positive role-model in all aspects of their life is to set them up to be amazing adults, believing in their ability to do and be anything they desire!

    Following is a bit I wrote in another blog about my present journey which you may find helpful:

    I've been a yo-yo dieter all my adult life (having too many children too young mucked up my metabolism big time!) but this is the very first time that I've truly been accountable and written EVERYTHING down that goes into my mouth (even if some recent days my tracker showed that I was over by 20 points!!)

    This time I've included regular exercise (some days only 30 mins if I'm busy) into my day - Sundays off - and I believe now that it's something I MUST DO for the rest of my life!!

    This is also the very first time that I've actually drunk water consistently every day!!
    This is also the very first time that I've been involved with the message boards every day!!

    All the above firsts:
    ** tracking everything I eat and drink
    ** regular exercise
    ** drinking water
    ** reading and contributing to the message boards daily
    is what is recommended by WW and let me tell you, it really does work!!

    I think in the past I just looked at WW as a diet - something to come off once I was at goal (yes, somewhere, way, way back in my life I was a life-time member!)

    Now I know that it is a Lifetime Program which will ensure that I don't put the weight back on but I will continue to eat healthier, exercise regularly and drink plenty of water.

    Next time I become a Lifetime Member - IT WILL BE FOR LIFE - my life!!!


    I'll be looking for the "YAY I'VE LOST 30 KG" post next week!

    All the very best! Gae oxoxox

  2. Hi Jody

    Something for you
    “The 'how' thinker gets problems solved effectively because he wastes no time with futile 'what ifs'.”